“Death Contemplation can be very unsettling”
To say more: In order to be beneficial, these contemplations need to be done in the right way. The most important element of practicing the right way is to do it mindfully and with balance — meaning being aware of the strong feelings that can come up and finding ways to be present with them. Fear can arise, as can sadness, grief, anger, and even joy. It’s important to be able to hold all of these, rather than trying to push them away or get lost in them.
In my recordings and when doing these contemplations with others, I give you permission to take breaks if needed: to pause the playback, or ignore my instructions, and to do grounding practice as a way to work with your feelings and keep a sense of balance. This can be whatever practice that you’re familiar with that works for you as a way to tolerate and be present with whatever is arising — breath meditation, loving kindness practice, body meditation, mantra practice — whatever works for you. This is not a fluffy idea — it’s a safety measure. Traditionally samvega must be balanced with pasaddhi — tranquility. If you try to do death contemplation without corresponding tranquility practice, you risk spraining or breaking something. Like physical exercise, the right amount for you is the amount you can tolerate without hurting yourself but while pushing yourself a tiny bit beyond your comfort zone – but not past your ability to be mindful.
If you’re not sure what to use or whether doing any of this is a good idea, consult with a meditation teacher or a psychotherapist. Keep in mind that whether or not to do death contemplation is probably not quite the right question — the real questions are, what’s the right amount?, and how to tell when you’re hitting your limit? Confronting the truth of our limited nature is quite possibly one of the most difficult and important things we can do as humans. It’s good to be thoughtful about it.
To say even more (for the research minded of you out there): According to Terror Management Theory, we spend an inordinate amount of psychological energy avoiding the reality of our mortality. This is not an easy habit to break. What we’re doing in essence with death contemplation is skillfully pushing an accommodation of the knowledge of death — we’re exposing ourselves in the right way to the idea over and over again until we’ve made room for it in our psyches rather than needing to keep it at bay. But just like any kind of stretch, we should not force it. Spaced repetition and good pacing (to continue the exercise analogy) is much better than demanding anything, just like stretching a tight muscle a little every day is much better than trying to stretch it all the way in one ruthless session.
Keep in mind that this is really a practice for living. If you’re looking for a practice about how to die with awareness, these meditations may or may not help, as they will serve to heighten the awareness of death, which you might not need.
If you’re doing these contemplations and it seems very easy, keep doing it and do it more seriously. I’ve found that for some people, a little goes a long way while for others, it’s good to incorporate these practices into life in significant ways for them to have a deep effect. I’ve posted the short meditations for you — if things seem easy and doing these practices make you feel good, please do the short practices regularly. On the other hand, if these practices leave you feeling scared, overwhelmed or vulnerable – or worse, if they make you feel separated from your body, suicidal or unable to function, find ways to buffer them: do them after loving kindness practice or after your regular practice, and consider doing them for shorter periods and talking to experts.
If you’re contemplating suicide or struggling with self-harm, I highly recommend speaking to a mental health professional before engaging in this practice.
Wherever you are in your life, having someone to talk to about this stuff — whether dying, living, or responding to the climate crisis — is extremely helpful. Consider discussing death contemplation with your friends, therapists, and climate change affinity groups.